Are we ever looking for others to be something we are not? This is particularly true when it comes to trusting others or considering others to be trustworthy. Though being wise about what we entrust to others is important, and acting in a trustworthy manner in our relationships, we must ask ourselves what criteria we carry for trusting others?
Proverbs 20:6 (CSB) asks this question: “Many a person proclaims his own loyalty, but who can find a trustworthy person?” Who of us knowingly or unknowingly has not been guilty of betraying trust in some way? By this standard that would make us all unworthy of being trusted, entrusted, or trustworthy.
Jeremiah 17:9 tells and asks: “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” It is likely we give people too much credit for being the perfect person to be friends with or tell something. At the heart of mankind are hidden emotions and logic-ed activity that said or unsaid can trigger words not meant to be said. So, trusting another person blindly is not reasonable. If we do, chances are we are going to be disappointed. This being said, it does not give good reason to abandon being in close relationship with others and working at acting in a trustworthy manner.
What truly keeps us in a relationship comes from trusting the character, ability, and strength of individuals. Consideration needs to be given to a person’s caring, concern, desire to understand, desire to help, and more. In this way, when we find things were said ‘out of school’, we can focus on the person that truly loves us and trust the relationship to be safe. In relationships where we want to settle the score because we are frustrated, offended, and sometimes even angry - venting, confronting, avoiding, rejecting can happen. Do I think and then forgive the person? Do I ask questions to quell my appetite for ‘need to know’? Do I think good or evil of them? I get to choose how I handle my emotion and logic.
Others betrayals no matter how small, does not give us permission to disregard the need to act in a trustworthy manner while maintaining respect and honor of one another. Loving one another demands that we not speak unkindly of or degrade others! Two wrongs do not make a right.
Relationships can breed turmoil or delight. When we depend on human relationships to be our all-in-all, we must remember what We are told in Proverbs 3:5-6 to put our “trust in the Lord with all our heart”. So, if you are looking for a place to put your trust? Put it in Jesus– perfect in all His ways. This passage implies that we are not to put our trust in people – but the Lord because He is fully trustworthy. According to Romans 3:23 we all fall short of the perfection found only in our triune God. Trusting in all that we want others or ourselves to be, is unrealistic. We are to be ready to forgive and let go of the wounds we encounter in relationship with one another in matters of trust.
A summary on this subject: Trust fully the One and only who is trustworthy with anything and everything! In relationship with others, handle each other with care, respect and love. Forgive the errors of others and self in this regard and continue to walk as one worthy of the trust given to you by others.
Joy Pedersen
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